the planets. mars

VERHEIDEN: If I recall correctly, you did purchase Mars.
FORHEISER: ‘Course I did.
VERHEIDEN: Let me guess. Mars is red.
FORHEISER: Reddish red.
VERHEIDEN: Mars is bright.
FORHEISER: Brightly bright!
VERHEIDEN: Mars is blood.
FORHEISER: Bleeding blood!
VERHEIDEN: Mars is might.
VERHEIDEN: Holst used to call it the “Bringer of War.”
FORHEISER: Mars is kind, you know.
FORHEISER: Mars is a dude, that’s for sure, but he’s not a badass, like Jupiter, nor an asshole, like Venus.
VERHEIDEN: What makes Mars a nice guy.
FORHEISER: Mars was in love with Earth. That was, like, a bazillion years ago, but he was.
VERHEIDEN: Mars loved Earth.
FORHEISER: Yea, and they made a great couple back in the day. Mars was full of oceans and stuff.
VERHEIDEN: The data indeed accuses masses of water.
FORHEISER: Yea, he and Earth were more, like, the similar kind, ya know.
VERHEIDEN: But love tore them apart.
FORHEISER: Tore Mars apart!
VERHEIDEN: What happened.
FORHEISER: Earth always had her own rhythm, you know. It’s a magnetic thing that protects her from that nasty stuff the Sun throws at the planets.
VERHEIDEN: Solar Winds.
FORHEISER: Right. So, Mars couldn’t keep up. He needed his own magnetism, but the guy’s actually a bit small, fragile even…
VERHEIDEN: Mars is fragile?
FORHEISER: Bullied by Big Brother Jupiter, ya know.
VERHEIDEN: What happened to Earth.
FORHEISER: She got tired of covering his ass and asked Jupiter out.
VERHEIDEN: Earth dumped Mars?
VERHEIDEN: That is why Mars lost its oceans?
FORHEISER: You bet. Thing is, without Earth, Mars was naked facing that nasty wind stuff. Lost lots of his atmosphere. His oceans dried up. He dried up.
VERHEIDEN: Is Mars lovesick?
FORHEISER: Mars is the forever desert of icy dust that settles after the scars of love.
VERHEIDEN: An Archeology of Love.
FORHEISER: Planetary Love.
VERHEIDEN: You’re still a male chauvinist pig, Mr. Heiser.
FORHEISER: Chau-what?

VERHEIDEN: But you may have a point in there.





Love podcasts or audiobooks? Learn on the go with our new app.

Recommended from Medium

Covid-19: Blueprint for Earth’s Perfect Storm

Space technology is improving our lives and making the world a better place. Here’s how

Space Wars: The (Petty) Saga of Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos


How Real Are Interstellar Travel Possibilities?

Home Is Where the Mars Rover Is

Week 30, 2020 — MAK The Way

New Episodes Of Red Frontier Available: Space — The Final Audio Frontier

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store



More from Medium

Private Lives

The 24th (and The Changes Brought About via Some Mushrooms.)

Sidereal Dawn, Ch. 4

When Black History and Sexual Assault Awareness Collide